Mysterious Package, Diary, Pretending
by call-it-home
Summary: On a visit to Earth Christmas one day, a package is placed at the door of the TARDIS. Inside, a book. A diary of a boy who was pretending to be the Doctor.
1. Mysterious Package

**A/N: We'll start out with 1 challenge per story, working our way up to 10. Then we'll head back down. Get it? No? Sucks. **

_CHALLENGE: A character will read someone's diary. During the story, a character discovers someone has been pretending to be them. The story is set on a beach. The story takes place a century in the past. During the story, a mysterious package arrives. _

The Doctor headed back to the TARDIS, rolling a candy cane in his teeth. Ah, Christmas. Turning the corner and waving at one of the little girls he'd befriended while he was there, he glanced over to his beautiful blue box. She was so old, so much older than he, and he used to never let it show. He'd always have made sure her battle scars were covered, that her paint was fresh and brilliant azure, but not anymore. He'd changed, of course. Especially since losing the Ponds. Her paint was chipping now, the bottom of her dirty and even blackened (from that time someone shot fire at him before realizing he wasn't their enemy). The Doctor, however, made sure that he continued hiding his own scars. After all, who needed to see those? He was the Doctor, always fine, always excited, always kind. No, he could never show his pain, his guilt, his fury. It would scare them. All of them.

Sighing, the Doctor stepped up to his lovely TARDIS, the Chameleon Circuit stuck on a police box. Ah, well. No one seemed to mind, anyway. He pushed open the PULL-TO-OPEN door, then heard a _thump_ at his feet. He glanced down. A box. A wooden box. What was a box doing at his door? The Doctor looked around, confused, but no one was in the alley. The little girl had pranced away, leaving him alone with his TARDIS and the box. It wasn't a very large box, definitely not large enough for a duck (thank God, he didn't want something like that to happen again). Shrugging, he lifted it and kicked the door closed, collapsing onto the pilot bench she'd given him in her most recent regeneration. The box was in his lap now, and he shoved his fingers in a crack between the boards and pried it open. Inside was something wrapped up in a black velvet cloth. Unfolding that revealed a thin white book with only about ten pages in it. No, he didn't think he'd read it quite yet. Maybe he'd go on a quick trip beforehand. Tossing himself off the bench and throwing a lever, he navigated through the usual time-and-space stuff until he'd landed at the place where most of his nostalgia took place: Bad Wolf Bay. Why not, right?

Snatching the book and the cloth, he patted the console lovingly and exited the TARDIS onto the beach. For once it was slightly warm, but the frigid spray emerging from the angry waves as they slammed themselves against the shore and the rocks rivaled the warmth by too much. He recalled standing here and saying his goodbye to Rose. It was a sad day.

They all were.

Footsteps were made as the Doctor walked down the beach to his usual remembering spot, a little pile of rocks. He climbed up and sat, crossing his ankles and flipping open the book. Inside the front cover in Earth-cursive read the name _Carson Taylor. _How strange. From his experience, anyone named Carson had dreadful handwriting or couldn't write at all. Already slightly uneasy, he turned his attention to the first page.

_11-11-1905. _

_Someone called me 'Doctor'. I don't understand. I was just running, running from those damn idiots who keep calling me a faggot and queer and who cares if I am? But still. I was running, and my feet really hurt. I didn't know what to do, so I went and hid in an alley. Some blonde girl looked over at me. She was holding some kind of gun. I wanted to run away but couldn't. I saw the inside of her collar. It had the name 'Rose' on it. I didn't know if that was her name, but I didn't want to die. So I said, "Rose, don't!" _

_She gave me a really funny look. Then she lowered her gun thing. She asked me, "What are you doing?" So I told her I was running. It was the truth, right? But she gave a little sob and started tearing up, but she grinned. _

_"Doctor?" she had said. "Doctor, have you regenerated?" I didn't know what she meant. Hell, I don't know what 'regenerated' means! And what kind of guy went by the name Doctor? Doctor who? But I thought that if I said no she would shoot me, so I nodded. And she was really pretty and her voice was really nice and I wanted to be her friend. Maybe she could help me with those guys! She didn't, though, she just grabbed my hand and led me away, all happy and sad at the same time. The girl babbled about stuff I didn't understand, about going through time or something trying to find me. She kept stopping, looking at me to say, "I've missed you, Doctor." _

_At one point, I hugged her and said, "I've missed you too, Rose." _

_And then I started being the Doctor._

_I'm sorry._

_Please don't hate me. _

_I didn't mean to, I just wanted a friend._

This was the end of the first entry. The Doctor was still, staring at the ink words. A young boy's diary. A young boy who had met Rose. A young boy who was pretending to be a Time Lord.


	2. Pretending to Be

A mug of tea in hand and a box of biscuits in his bigger-on-the-inside pockets, the Doctor hopped back up on the rocks. A mouse skittered away as he sat, gently opening the diary once more. What would this entry hold? Something good, something frightening? If this boy had pretended to be him and Rose found him, she might drag him places he wouldn't understand. Had she taken him to Torchwood? Jack would know, in that case, that it wasn't him. He'd come across Jack just a few days ago (to him), so Jack knew his regenerations.

Shaking his head to banish the subject, he ran his finger down the page and flicked it to the next one.

_17-11-1905_

_I'm sorry it's been a while. I was nervous. I thought someone might see me. They're really good at seeing things around here. They might be reading over my shoulder now and that scares me. _

_Rose took me to a beach. It was rocky and cold. There was a big thick metal door in the rocks. When we got close I saw that it said ' AD OLF B Y.' I was confused. I'm confused a lot now. She said it was Bad Wolf Bay, which makes a lot more sense than Adolf By, doesn't it? I think it does. Anyway, so she tried to open the door and then she got irritated and apologized to me and said something like "These guys are idiots." Then she just took out a little metal thing and pointed it at the handle. It made a noise that hurt my ears and the door opened. So Rose grabbed my hand and led me inside (her hand was warm, I didn't want to let it go) and it was cold there, too. I wanted to go home and get my jacket but then I remembered that those guys had taken it from me so it wouldn't have mattered anyway. It was strange inside that rock building. The hallways were long and our footsteps echoed. We didn't say anything. Rose kept looking over at me like she was afraid I'd go away. I wasn't going to. I didn't know how to get home so I couldn't. _

_Finally we turned into this one room that was pretty big and had a kitchen and a table and a couch and a telly and everything. It was warmer in here than in the hall and I was really glad because I was starting to forget my toes could move. Rose offered me tea and I accepted it so she put some water on to boil and sat down at the table. I sat across from her. She started talking. I didn't know what it was about but I listened anyway._

_"Since you left, the real you I mean, the other Doctor and I-well, he called himself John Smith-we were married. But… we didn't have any children. It turned out he couldn't have any." _

_"I'm sorry," I said. I interrupted her, I realized, and I felt really bad and thought she would hit me like Dad did when he found out I liked boys. She didn't, though, she just looked really sad. _

_"So am I," Rose whispered, then cleared her throat. "I think he was ashamed, because one evening I came home from work after our doctor-medical, that is-told us about him and he was just… gone. He left a note." She wiped at a tear and my heart dropped. She was so pretty when she was sad. I wanted to hug her and tell her it would be okay but I didn't do anything but wait for her to keep talking. "I never read it. I think it's still in my kitchen drawer." She glanced over at the kettle. The water still wasn't boiling. "I tried to stay there, to keep living in that house, but there were too many memories. I still own it and everything, but I moved in here." She laughed. It was empty and sad. I wanted to take that laugh and rip it to shreds; why did she have to be so sad? Why was she talking about it if it made her so damn sad? "It's no better, but it's something. I keep worrying that he'll go to that house and find it empty. I worry about that so much, Doctor. What if John comes back? But I knew he wouldn't, so that's why I'm still here." _

_I was quiet. I didn't know what to say. Finally I settled with, "I bet he still loves you, Rose." _

_She looked up at me, and her blue eyes were remorseful-did I use that word right? I learned it in class-as she said, "I bet he does. And I still love him." _

_I knew it was awkward, at least it was for me, but I reached out and patted her hand. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. They were the sea, I decided. The raging sea that pelted the rocks above us. "I'm glad you're here, Doctor, you know just what to say. But since then, I've gotten my hands on a vortex manipulator and have been using it to travel around since. I don't know how this place got here, but when I found it, well, I was grateful as hell." She laughed. "I've saved the day for a few families since. Not the world, mind you, but little towns and such. It's enough. Every now and again I'll stop for a while, get a job, earn some money before heading back out. The life I lead isn't very settled, but it's enough. I get by." _

_"Are you happy?" I asked. I wondered if she would answer because she went all quiet, then she squeezed my hand. _

_"No, Doctor. I'm not happy. I haven't been."_

_"Why?"_

_Another silence stretched out in front of us. It bubbled up and swallowed up whole, extending around the room. The sound of a big wave crashing popped it, but Rose and I were still in the balloon of quiet. I hoped we wouldn't be in it for long because you know how I get all fidgety in situations like this. When she spoke I was just about to start kicking my feet or something so I was relieved. "I don't know." That was it. _

_"You should try to make yourself happy." _

_"I know." _

_"Why don't you, then?" _

_"It's hard. I keep remembering that night I came home to an empty room." _

_"Then think of the times you were with me." _

_She went quiet. "Like when?"_

_I got really nervous because I didn't know what to say, so my mouth just ended up moving and I heard, "That picnic," come out of my mouth. Who hadn't been on a picnic, right? _

_Rose smiled. "On New New Earth." _

_So then she was happy. She talked about all the times she'd had with the real Doctor and it was nice. I nodded and laughed when she did and then it got late and she showed me a room. I slept there. We stayed in that place for a few days. Then she said she got a call and so I went with her and now I think we're in a mental hospital and I don't know what to do. _

_There's something here. Something in this house. It isn't a good thing. It's crazy and Rose thinks it's killing people. She thinks that these people weren't meant to be insane. She thinks something is driving it mad. _

_The people here don't get to read so when they see me with this book they always try to read it. That's why I'm scared. I don't want these people knowing about me. I don't want them knowing my name. I don't want them knowing Rose's name because she calls herself Jessica here. I don't want them knowing. They shouldn't know. They shouldn't know anything but happy. I think that about everyone, though. Everyone should only know happy and not sad and not pain like me. _

_I don't like knowing I'm not the only me. _

_It's scary._

The Doctor ran his tongue over his lips. Rose apparently hadn't had a good life. He couldn't visit her, though. He couldn't. Not with Carson there. He couldn't visit her at all. She wouldn't recognize this regeneration. He could check on her again… maybe. But not now. No, now he would just go get a new box of biscuits and maybe more tea. Yes, tea sounded nice.


End file.
